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Oneinamillion
Newbie
Posts: 6
Registered: 10-08-2010 Location: USA
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posted on 10-21-2010 at 03:59 |
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How do you over come the need to marry a virgin?..
I am a male and I do not date for the sake of dating. I am very particular and I only date women that I feel may lead to the possibility of marriage.
While in a relationship the desire to move forward naturally grows stronger. These are wonderful women.. however at some point usually within the first few months the question of virginity always becomes an issue within me and eventually an obstacle in the relationship.
Many times during the relationship I unexpectedly begin to perceive they still have feelings for there first boyfriend. As details emerge and it becomes apparent the situation only gets worse and I end the relationship no matter how painful or beautiful the woman is.
This is a situation I must cease to have happen again. The solution may be to be to stop dating all together unless the the woman is a virgin.. but obviously the dating pool will shrink to virtually nothing and I may never find a fulfilling life long relationship. Or to learn to over come this problem.. which doesn't seem possible.
Much of what is written in the post by Swan Sword goes right to the heart of how I feel as a male.. and I suspect many males feel this same way but choose to suppress it.
If anyone cares to comment I would love to hear from you..
Thank you
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friend4354
Member
Posts: 33
Registered: 10-14-2008 Location:
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posted on 10-21-2010 at 07:40 |
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Same problem
Hello One.
I have the same problem. I have a lot working for me when it comes to finding a woman, including being a virgin. However, I haven't overcome the problem of finding a woman like me, one who has never had intercourse before. I believe both in the couple should enter marriage under the same risk on the sexual level. One person call this "V for V". That would mean the only acceptable trade for your virginity would be the virginity of your spouse.
I find myself breaking up with the women I date when it becomes obvious that we do not have marriage potential, usually due to the virginity question. Not too long ago I was dating a stunning looking woman who was very "right" for me on an emotional and personal level. Unfortunately, one night she asked me over with the clear insinuation of what she wanted to do. I tried to convince myself that that wasn't what she meant. Then, not long after that, she made it even clearer. I then spent two weeks without contacting her, then met up with her, and told her it was over citing the reason of incompatibility. I also said I didn't want either of us to end up badly paired, and it was saving a lot of future suffering by cutting it off sooner rather than later. The main reason I broke it off, which I didn't mention, was that we do not agree on the sexual aspect of a relationship, something that is very important. It took me some time to get over it. I'm not sure about her.
Friend
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friend4354
Member
Posts: 33
Registered: 10-14-2008 Location:
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posted on 10-21-2010 at 07:40 |
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tarekthet
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 10-21-2010 Location:
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posted on 10-21-2010 at 20:40 |
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is that shame to be virgin ?
hi i'm new memeber on this site , well first off all , i think nobody should have be shamed of being virgin , cuz i personally see that marriage is the only method to know your partner , i mean when you share your home and your bed and everything you have with someone, this person should be special or perfect whatever you want to call , virginity is a simple sign of honesty not in all cases but in most of them ,why ? thats good question ? i think that a most of virgin didnt not find the good partner , i dont mean here , a partner who to have sex with , but i mean the person who is looking for more than just having sex and enjoyment , virginity for me is the sign of purity , cuz the person who still virgin will find the perfect partner...........cuz sex is act of making love / for me / ha ha and thanks for letting me talk .
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maestroanth
Newbie
Posts: 5
Registered: 12-08-2010 Location:
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posted on 12-08-2010 at 02:04 |
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i understand
Since I lost my virginity, well not until I was 20, I was still young enough to want to be with a virgin. The problem is in our ever promiscuous modern world virginity is usually not recognized as a good thing especially if you're a male. Even some of my guy friends give me shit about only being with 1 girl for 5 years and then I just rebound to them like well, "you may have had like 7 gf's, but how many times have you done it, 80? well haha, I did it like 1000 times b/c of monogamy w/o even needing a condom"....but I sidetrack, so lemmie try to make a point out of this....
I guess that's where I kinda understand your issue is b/c I know my ex would still have feelings with me even not being a promiscuous woman b/c of how long/much we've been together! And almost any woman I try to get acquainted with seems to have residual feelings for her past and I try to express that there ARE other good people out there and you need to open your heart to them and new experiences!
Mid-20's or older, trying to marry another virgin is like finding a needle in the haystack, and I think it's just a typical man thing b/c he wants to feel special. The way I believe to get over it is to find a girl that can somehow make you feel special/unique compared to w/e men she may have been with on both an emotional and sexual level. No one wants to feel like just another notch in the bedpost.
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sharonbaker
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 01-11-2011 Location:
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posted on 03-23-2011 at 02:02 |
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Hello friends
Actually i don't have an idea about it... Infact i got something to read your views... Thanks for sharing with us.... I am happy to visit again.... Keep it up...
Regards
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